Highlights from Our Literary Future

Great Scott is grading end-of-the-semester papers from his classes. I love it when he grades student writing; he sends wonderful little gems of fun to my inbox if he's grading at school, and if he's doing it at the dining room table, I get to hear them firsthand. . .once I can get him to stop laughing long enough to read them aloud.

Some are simple but unfortunate typos or spelling errors:

"Has any creature, on this world or the next, ever installed as much fear as he has?"—Microsoft, perhaps.

"People die not b/c of bread making, but from the medical knoledge." --Totally believable when puts like this.

"The mother car carries a kitten back to the nest if it strays too far.

"The community is very shocked and uphauled by the death of Caesar." --Indeed.

"Caesar was found in the capitol with multiple stab wombs."

"Falling stars, ghosts, and loins roaming through the streets of Rome.”—Well, it explains a great deal , doesn’t it?

"Dear mead is good nutritious meat...."

"This will draw the deer to one cretin...." --Note to hunters: be sure to take the right cretin into the woods with you.

"Deer make this sound when they are exited...."—Yes. . . well.

Other passages are somewhat disturbing as well as entertaining, especially since they seem to be products of reasoning difficulties rather than more cosmetic errors:

“From murder to rape and even plain old common conversation this book will leave you wanting more.”—Oh, really?!?

“In a town full of racism and other human behaviors they get first hand experience in all of them.”

"The more we find out the more we will know, so we will be more informed."

"The more we know the more we will know, so we will know more, you know?"

"I think we need a bully as a leader, so someone can't just move in here and take over.” --One of my personal favorites.

Perhaps it’s all more understandable than not, however, when one takes a good look at the faculty communication going on behind the scenes, such as in this memo:

“Teachers: I have a lot of students who want to make schedule changes. This is the first time that it is just me so please bare with me as I will go as fast as I can."