Monday, December 13, 2004

Coming Clean

You know what messes me up more than almost anything else? Church and religion related ponderings. I start muddling them around in my head, trying to determine the absolute best way to go about doing whatever enterprise I'm embarking on at the moment, and I end up frustrated, irritated, restless, anxious, discontent and just plain out of sorts! That's where I've been for the past two or three days, pondering possible blog subjects and growing more and more frustrated with each one.

"I don't have anything to say on this that's not being said elsewhere!" I griped to God. "And even if I said something, most people are more interested in debate or feel-good agreement pat-me-on-the-back responding than in the truth and spirit of the matter."

God raised an eyebrow. For some reason He does this a lot when we talk. "Your point?" He asked.

"My point is that I don't want to write about religion, about the way the church ought to be, about all the gunk people do to each other in the name of Christianity!"

"Ah." He paused. "Who asked you to?"

I blinked. "But everyone else. . ."

". . .is doing it," He finished for me. Again with the eyebrow. "A hundred thousand lemmings. . ."

". . .can't be wrong," I finished for Him. "But they're not lemmings, Father. They're speaking truths that need to be said."

"Yes," He replied calmly. "But they're not your truths, Cindy. Not the ones I've given you to speak."

"Oh." :::feeling a bit foolish:::

He patted me on the head. "It's ok. You're a bright animal. You'll get the hang of it." I shot Him a look, and He grinned.

Am feeling better about the whole business this evening. Spent some time on a forum where I moderate, speaking truths there that He's given me to speak there. Apt words. Finding apt words for Quotidian Light is a little more difficult, but I'm beginning to find my way. At least I know which roads not to go down now. And to those of you like Feeble Knees (here and here) and Rick (thanks to Jadon for this link), who speak truths about issues that do desperately need to be addressed--Thank you. I appreciate you tremendously.


and then Life happened said...

Hi Cindy,

Aren't you glad that Jesus didn't say to the boys, "Hey you want to hear a new truth the Father has given me?"
Instead he said, I AM the TRUTH.....
It is never a thing of my truth versus someone else's truth, there is only One truth, and His name is Jesus.
It is a Wonderful thing to see the only One that can make known to the re-birthed, Christ the Truth is the spirit of truth himself.


Cindy said...

You are g'zactly right! He's Truth, with a capital "T". (Sorry if it seemed I was saying otherwise.)

Just like different objects reflect different wavelengths of light, giving the appearance of different colors, though, I see individual members of Christ's Body reflecting/expressing different facets of the Truth that he is, as they live and breath and have their being in him. The Light is unchanging. The expressions of Himself through his body and their individual gifts and ministries, though, are multiple.

Thanks for your post! It's good to meet you.

Randy said...

He called you a "bright animal?" You two must have an interesting relationship. :) Your example of different folks reflecting different parts of the same truths is a good one.

I struggle with groupthink and bumper sticker theology. It is hard to find the balance of being only 1 of 6 billion people on the planet but you are the only you He ever created ... ever. Humbling and inspiring all at once.

And dear sister ::: imitating our Lord with the eyebrow thing ::: don't knock the feel good. We need more genuine encouragement.

Anonymous said...

I also caught the "bright animal thing"! That time my eyebrow shot up! ;) Just remember that God reveals different truths to each of us at different times, when he determines we're ready for them. He's reminded me of this on several occasions. When he's imparted some truth to me (especially after it's been awhile, and I've rather forgotten that I didn't always know this truth) I've become frustrated with other Christians who seem to be oblivious to what I would consider obvious, and I think to myself, "Why can't you see this?!" Then He reminds me who gave me the truth in the first place,and that I didn't have it before either, and to be patient with them--He'll tell them when He's ready. My response: "Oh...ok." Humble...humble...:) Just stick to what He wants you to say as He wants you to say it. When I do that, I find the right words come at the right time, because He's doing the talking. By the way, I love your blogs and look forward to reading them. Hang in there, you're doing a great job! Deb

Cindy said...

Randy--Point taken. You may post as many feel-good comments as you like. ;):D

Only one of six billion. Even more, if you count past and future people. Wow.

Cindy said...

Deb--The "bright animal" thing is an in-joke between us. Delivered with a definite tease in tone. But I know you know that. :) Thanks for the encouragement (ah, the burning coals upon my head!)! Glad you're reading and enjoying.

Bruce said...


I started out my blog posting religious stuff every day, just about. Then I fell into the trap of thinking I had to post religious stuff. Now I post whatever, and if it turns out to be religious, then so be it. It's more important to post what's inside of you, than what you think you should post.

Feeble Knees said...

Hi Cindy, I love what you bring to this blog. Your haunting poetry and prose forces me to shut my yap, slow down and be more contemplative. This week I've been thinking of a few of your posts and how they've been challenging me to to go deeper into unexpressed portions of my heart. Whether that's fodder for Feeble Knees or not I don't know, right now it seems like just a personal journey, and an intriguing one at that. Thanks for the inspiration.


Anonymous said...

Hi, LuCindy! Just finished reading Mere Christianity with the family last night (what next? what next? can I wait till after Christmas to choose another book?! it's finals week, I don't have time for family!), and your post made me realize why I stuck the book in my bag to bring up here today. In the last chapter, Lewis talks about how we are all to be "like Christ" but how that makes us all our own selves -- one of those cool paradox things about the Christian faith.

Lewis writes, "The more we get what we now call 'ourselves' out of the way and let Him take us over, the more truly ourselves we become. There is so much of Him that millions and millions of 'little Christs,' all different, will still be too few to express Him fully. He made them all. He invented -- as an author invents characters in a novel -- all the different men that you and I were intended to be. In that sense our real selves are all waiting for us in Him."

Much more, but I must stop! I love what you are saying, and as you know it's always a reminder I need. I do not need to be Annie Dillard to be a good writer. :) I need only be in Him, to find what He would do in me/through me that He created me for: to show that tiny part of Him that He so marvelously, graciously, condescends to show in/through me if I will just let Him. And if I don't, then I'm just being/speaking junk that isn't worth listening to anyway.

One more exam today, two on Friday, a trip to Chattanooga Thursday for the last-minute shopping for the parents, and we are off for TX Saturday morning. Will much appreciate prayer for traveling mercies (you know the most-needed kind, too!).

I love reading here. It refreshes me every day and makes those crazy times less powerful to destroy my sense of reality.



Joyella said...

Cindy, I can't say I've read lots and lots of blogs, but the ones I do, I stick with because they are unique, fun, challenging, insightful and/or inspiring. I keep coming back here, because you have something special to offer. Your writing is so rich, and your insights are encouraging to me. You are also a fun, quirky introvert, and I appreciate your sense of humor and appreciation for nature. Just keep doing what your doing. There aren't any rules, well none other than the ones in the Blogger agreement. :)

Cindy said...

Bruce--It's nice to know someone else understands. Thanks. I breathed a sigh of release I didn't know was still there to let out when I read your comment. :)

Feeble Knees--I like what your yap has to say! It's pertinent and well-expressed. But I'm glad for your comtemplation times, too. Thanks for your encouragement, both here and on your own blog through your writing there.

Beth--Yes! Yes! Yes! More ourselves the more we lose ourselves in Him! (Lewis is great!) Thank you. I've read Mere Christianity, but didn't catch that part the first time around. Traveling mercies on your trip!

Joyella--Thank you for your kindness. I keep reading your blog because you remind me that in the crazy enterprise of child-rearing, I'm not alone (and also because you're just neat. :)).