Thirteen Things in My Desk Drawer

Yesterday I came home and swiped at the wide, flat drawer beneath the center of my desktop, intending to open it and grab a pen. It budged, but wouldn't open. I had to drag it open, to my wry displeasure. The reason? Too much stuff crammed in it. Here's a sampling.

1. Umpteen million pens and pencils: ball point, gel, and mechanical. (The fountain pens are set apart, well-nigh sanctified, in fact.)

2. Two pairs of sissors. One for me and one that the children are allowed to use. This is not due to safety factors. This is due to me wanting a pair of sissors that haven't been used to cut industrial grade cardboard to make castles and French log homes.

3. Empty Whitman sampler and Altoids tins. You never know when these will come in handy.

4. Enough mechanical pencil refills to be a lead poisoning health hazard.

5. A stapler. This is not always in residence, as Great Scott and The Daughters borrow it with regularity.

6. Umpteen million erasers, but they're apparently the wrong kind, as I am regularly asked to buy more.

7. Flathead and phillpshead screwdrivers.

8. Coconut brittle.

9. Two miniature screwdriver sets, neither of which are the right size to fix whatever pair of eyeglasses has broken this time.

10. Boxes of staples, brads, two or three different sizes of paperclips, and a box of butterfly clips.

11. Two or three different kinds of staple removers, regardless of the fact that I almost always just use my fingernails. This would explain the shape of my fingernails, I suppose.

12. Occasionally a stray M&M or Skittle. Finding these is just like Christmas, no matter how old they are. Hey, who am I to ask questions about age?

13. Two freerange, vampiric thumbtacks that attack and then scurry away to hide beneath the pens or in a far corner until they feel the need to feed again.