The If-I-Could-Be Meme

I'm way behind on getting this one out. Feebs gave me a list and asked me to complete sentences for three of them (I think it was three.)

If I could be an inn-keeper, I'd hire my brothers-in-law Brad and Roy to sit in the common room sharpening executioners' axes and look menacing and keep the rabble quiet. I would stand for no funny business out back in the stables, and I'd carry a big iron ladle with which to firmly whack the knuckles of any lout who pestered my serving girls.

If I could be a mutant, I'd have the power to discern a person's greatest pain and how to ease it. Then I'd set up shop as a psychologist by day and a writer of inspirational self-help books by night. I would help millions. The sad would be made happy, the suffering of the world relieved, marriages saved, homes restored. Small children would hug my feet and whisper my name in awe and grateful tears!

(Or maybe I'd have the power to eat anything I like and not gain weight. Difficult choice.)

If I could be a bonnie pirate, I'd wear those really comfy balloon-y pants and billowy blouses and decorate the captain's quarters in cabbage rose wallpaper. I'd keelhaul the first landlubber who laughed at me fashion sense, arrrggh, and they'd be eatin' from th' chum bucket fer the duration of the voyage, Matey.

Tag, you're it!
Jeremy
The Way Seeker
Notes on Acting
This Hapax Legomenon
A Likely Story

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