Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Staring at the Ceiling Fan

I've been here, thinking, pondering, running errands, cutting grass, avoiding housework, taking children on field trips and attending elementary school award ceremonies, welcoming my sister and her little family back home from halfway across the nation (a joyous event, especially since her 8 month old daughter has taken a liking to yanking on my hair and staring at me in perplexed amusement when we're together), eating anything that crosses my path, washing storm windows, chauffering my grandmother, attending a wedding shower, struggling to post something--anything--on the messageboards for which I moderate and/or to post something here, working on a new poem, and staying up into the wee hours playing computer games in a desperate (and unsuccessful) attempt to turn my brain off or at least exaust it into giving me some peace. No deal.

What I want is to lie on the floor in a cool, dim room and stare at a ceiling fan for a few days. What I want is to be perfectly still without the constant background "noise" of restlessness, that pushing, guilt-inducing mental patter that incessantly steals every moment of peace and rest that might be possible. Why, praytell, does the human brain not come equipped with an off switch? !

7 comments:

Randy said...

I know....my brain has been going 90 to nothing for a week or so now. I could totally stare at a ceiling fan.

alaiyo said...

Maybe there's something in the air . . . I hadn't thought about it, but maybe I should turn the ceiling fan on while I am trying to go to sleep . . . :)

Just too much going on around us and it's so hard to find a quiet space, even inside, even for a moment . . .

Try getting the girls to stare with you! :)

love and prayers!

Cindy said...

Randy--As busy as you are in body, I can't imagine your brain could go any faster! I get worn out just hearing about all YOU have to do.

Alaiyo--It's not all that's going on around me that's the difficulty. Have been ok with that, even in the midst of busy-ness. It's the BRAIN that has to chatter and nitter and nag and berate and engage in mental gymnastics. If I don't have anything to purposefully think about, it will start figuring math problems (or even do that in the background while I'm trying to think). Arrrrrggh! (But thankyew verra much for the sympathy! :) )

Toad said...

If only chocolate could be the same with tryptophan (sp?) in place of the caffeine . . . comfort and sleep! Maybe we'll have to work up some kind of chocolate/turkey concoction. Blek! ;oD

Anonymous said...

Are you dizzy yet?

Ben

Cindy said...

Queasy, that's for sure.

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